i took out a pay day loan today, i said i had a reserved amount to “chase” with but we all know that through all good intentions we are not going to stop at that reserved amount so yes, i delved into my bill money and so i had to borrow to make sure my bills were paid.
i have started to do equate the money lost on gambling to the hours of overtime i have worked and that is having some sort of an impact as i always say money just a process of gambling and not actually as real money ( if that makes sense)
i have absolutely nobody that i can turn my money over to, my parents would steal it and friends are very scarce these days due to me pushing people away. if i handed control to the wrong person and they stole it then i know for sure that would be a trigger point for my gambling.
i sometimes feel like Wallace (from wallace and gromit ) in the wrong trousers, with my legs marching in a direction they don’t want to go.
i need to pick the right live group as last time it was suggested that there may be a more appropriate room to enter into than before…
