Spent a few hours with my father. Took him for some lunch. We bought a flower stand for my mums grave. I am going up Sunday for the afternoon to visit mum, take flowers. I don’t feel at ease in the cemetery but I know it brings some kind of comfort for my father.
Bought some fruit milk and 1.5 litre of cola. Thats dinner. The cola will keep me awake which is good as I need to work. My intention is to work through the night and try raise some money. Rent day approaches with break neck speed. And my desire to fly out and see my son is strong.
The gambling urges come strong and fast. I am not sure working from home , alone is the best for me. Slept for an hour around 6pm. Body clock is messed up.
Charles, maybe I will go back to Citizens advise. But my debts are way past any kind of financial order. My only real choice would be to go for bankruptcy. I must be over 100k in debt. Plus being self employed makes it harder to get financial orders in place. I will have to look again at that.
Sad68 = thank you for your comments and yes loosing any loved one is harder than a person can imagine. This was my first experience of close family death. It hit us all hard.
” Important thing John is to stay gamble free and then you can make choices rather feel forced into things because of your financial situation” < very true words. So many times I have made choices based on the outcome of a gambling frenzy and those choices were invariably tainted and wrong. The viscous circle. It has to be broken.