Sorry Lily that I have not been in touch sooner and thank you for taking the time to reply.
After my last message i spent the rest of the night upset and not sleeping and eventually manifested in making myself ill enough that I was not in work for a couple of days.
Obviously, I haven’t been doing enough to look after myself and if I’m not looking after myself then that needs to be my priority.
As a result of being ill and generally feeling rubbish, a lot of my own self-doubt and worry has kicked in. There hasnt even been time to worry too much about CG but I’ve found myself doing the worst thing and bringing him down with me.
I am focusing on me this week. Looking after me. Taking positive steps for me. and working towards getting my head back in the right place!!
CG has been quite argumentative this weekend but its something i find really hard to deal with as I can see he doesnt want to be throwing the tantrums and arguments that he does but he cant stop himself. Starting to see a correlation between payday when he gets his fix and the weekend, which is half way away from payday and when I am most around him and, therefore, harder for him to gamble/when he has ran out of money, which leads to him wanting to argue.
The world of excuses for where his money went this week was a new level of BS, even by CG’s standards. So frustrating!!
Sorry that this isnt a more positive message. Hopefully, by the end of this week, the positivity will be flowing!!!