Ican thanks for your post, and it is so true that we would not be where we are today in recovery without the support of GT and the wonderful people who helps us in our recovery journey. I don’t know if anyone has come here and not had a slip, a gambling binge along the way. How many times I came here and posted about another slip or gambling, as Vera calls them. The times I did not want to post that I had gambled that I wanted to hide away and lick my wounds, but I forced myself to admit to everyone that I gambled again. The care, compassion and suggestions to help me get on track again that I needed was right here for me. I know that some days I would love to go play machines and just escape and have a night of excitement, but all it does is make me feel worse again. I go back to the self loathing and hating myself. I don’t think I can go through that again, but I know that all I need to do is put one dollar in a machine and that is what will happen. I am one bet away from that and it scares the he** out of me.
I have to work on looking at life on a more positive light and start enjoying things again. I am a work in progress and I will continue to work on myself, but I am a slow learner LOL as I keep sliding back into old habits with my self talking. I am not giving up though. I love to read Liz’s posts as there is a serenity that comes across in them. I am working towards finding that serenity for myself. I procrastinate something terrible, but I am also not a quitter and will not give up on myself. Well I had better go and get ready for work and I just might make it on time LOL Although I had a meeting last night and the night before so I have worked an extra 6 hours over the last couple of days so I should not be so hard on myself if I go in 30 minutes later, but for some reason I feel guilty if I do that. That is some of the things I need to work on. I am rambling but it helps get my thoughts out. Have a wonderful gamble free day everyone!!!!
