Something has changed for me – I wish I could bottle it , describe it or even hold it .
I am really happy.
I gambled a week ago, and I lost more than I should have , but I also chose to stop.
I think maybe now that I am owning my behavioural choices rather than blaming an addiction, a demon or other external force,I no longer feel like a victim in the world .
My life no longer feels outside my control. Today I can chose to gamble or not , and today I will also have to live with that choice.
I have also somehow deepened so many friendships – I have had money to go for a drink or a coffee! I have also been available mentally and physically .
I have started on the no longer dreaded house – and as I sit on my “new to me“ couch I think of Laura somewhere in the world who has inspired so much.
Life is so nice right now – simple but nice – I am happy !