Hey there,
Thanks for sharing your story. I have also had large losses and have tried to quit many times. Can I suggest you download/pick up a book called ‘Easy Way to Stop Gambling’ by Allen Carr. I got it after a suggestion on here and it has totally changed my perspective on gambling. I have had almost no urges and I am on 12 days gamble free and it feels awesome.
Don’t use willpower, don’t make assertions like ‘I WILL NEVER GAMBLE AGAIN’. It is dangerous – why? Because it rarely works. How many times have you said that to yourself? only to fall back in it a day or week later and lose MORE than you lost before. That’s what happened to me, dozens of times!! This book made me realise the willpower game is a dead end. You need to change your perspective and the urge will fade away.
Good luck in your recovery. I’ll be following your thread.