Thanks everyone for your support I feel very clear headed this morning last night my wife had a great idea. She unhooked the router and hid it. We have agreed we will do this every night. I understand now why there can be no more relapses. Because one bet leads to another. This needs to be staunched like a wound. I don’t want my future to be one gambling. It is ruining me. Will power is not enough. When I have a urge I am going to imagine me winning. But not stopping. And then losing the winnings and more. Because that is the pattern. No wn will ever be enough. So why bother. Let’s look at cost benefit analysis. If I win I wil only lose it. If I win and cash out will I do anything with it? No. I’ll play again. Then at some point I will lose with interest. There is no benefit in gambling. The house always wins. Why do I want to destroy myself? That’s what I need to find out.
I thank everyone here offering their advice. I believe I have reached the end of this cycle. Lots to do to prepare for my upcoming stay at gma whenever that is.
I am going to stay off the blogs until tonight. Off to GA tonight. I know the urges will come but that’s normal. I have so life to give and live .
Love to all