You know the deal and are now at the point were the damage is done and mistakes take a toll on our day to day. Glad you put a life time ban on your access. You must do all you can at the height of this to do damage control and live life the way its meant to be lived . For a cg its clear omit gambling for good. Its the only choice that can be made otherwise its a slippery slope that will only drag us down. Get payments set up to manage and not overwhelm you ok.
you are a good person with a wonderful life that needs you to be apart of it. I think in order to get beyond this you need to come clean with your partner and don’t make her responsible for repayment that might make telling her the truth more acceptable. Try doing this with the help of a therapist perhaps. I am 5 months clean and know that this is a fragile balancing act but I have learned this time that there is never a good excuse to gamble and that keeps me going strong now. Life easily can offer us all the excuses we need to f… up so we must get over that notion then growth can take place FG
