So it’s almost bedtime and I am finding that writing on my thread is really helping me. I have always went through phases with writing – writing and deleting posts.
Sometimes I cannot bear to read back .
GT has seen me through some very dark times- I have seen many people come and go – some I know have found recovery – some are still struggling with relapses, but the support has been a constant in my life for many a year – I’m not sure where I would have been without this site . Charles even stayed online with me until I was physically standing in my first GA meeting a I has been too terrified to go for years- that’s going beyond the call of duty and that really is support.
When I wake up tomorrow I will be on day seven . It has been an easy week to achieve – something has changed inside my brain. Posting several times a day has helped and I guess GA must be a huge factor also – it feels like it was the missing link .
I also think I have realised that we can depend on no one for for our recovery except ourselves – sure people can encourage us , advise us, guide us and even rescue us financially – but recovery is down to each individual and how badly they want it .
I have had some urges but mostly when ads come up on tv- I notice they add new casinos all the time. They have not been the unbearable urges of the past .
I was worried about refusing requests to bingo and no one has suggested It – I have went for long walks , coffee and even a KFC but no one has suggested gambling – so my “gambling buddy” has quickly become my “buddy” and I was actually the only person who wanted to gamble .
Lastly I am resolute in not allowing other people’s issues to bring me down no matter how cleverly they try to implicate me in them . I am not allowing game players to infect me with their games .
I can see clearly now the rain had gone and I like my life where it is today and I like the future I can see .
Nite nite all.