Thanks Kin, Steev, IDI.
My slow response was partly due to the fact I have been busy with family issues. (A great distraction from gambling)
Kin, I still believe that placing the first bet is the first step to disaster and that compulsive gamblers can never win, but of course these realizations can be circumvented when we want to indulge our base instincts. Addiction, which goes hand in hand with avarice and desire for instant gratification, has the ability to blind us to truth, despite past experiences which lend evidence to the contrary.
Steev-I agree totally with the “dry drunk” analogy. In 2010, I “white -knuckled” through the whole year and when I relaxed my grip in 2011, all hell broke lose. I stayed G free for 27 months (up until last April) and realized the difference between abstinence and recovery.
I need to get back to the “non gambler”persona , where not even a thought would suggest I ever enjoyed that life style.
IDI-thanks for saying no one ever grows weary of me! I grow weary of myself though. Perhaps I grow weary of gambling. All the more reason not to identify as a gambler any longer, as Steev rightly suggests.
As for the PLAN, you know how your idea of a plan helped me-actually SAVED me in 2015.
Five years on that plan (fund) has been demolished but it’s never too late to start again.
I have in fact kick started it already and I am running a savings scheme, parallel to my debt repayment scheme but of course in my distorted mind I sometimes get the brain wave that I can fast forward the scheme and win enough to pay off my (rather large) debts and double or treble my savings.
My track record proves the opposite will always occur.
So I still sit with my original dilemma. My “Time out” i.e. six week exclusion ends on May 22nd. My income will hit my account on the same date.I need to extend my self exclusion. The only way I can do that is by logging into the gambling site that I’m excluded from, so for a very brief moment I will have to decide between making a deposit to “play and have some fun , with the hope of a few wins” or quickly scrolling to the small print that allows a player to extend a “Time Out”period.
A tip from GA is proving helpful.
“Never tempt or test yourself”.
The non gambler in me is planning to give my lap top to somebody overnight on that date. Go to the ATM the next morning. Remove all available cash. Retrieve my laptop. Log into the same said sit and extend the exclusion.
Fingers crossed I will do the right thing.
In the meantime, the best I can do is BE ACCOUNTABLE by writing about it here BEFORE the effluent hits the air conditioner and not wait ’til AFTER.
That’s it in a nutshell!