Dear diary
I was wondering what could I have done to make it easier or what did I do to make it difficult for myself in recovery today.
1. I had access to money – although I have handed over most of the money to my love ones, I still have some money.
2. There was a place to gamble – the sport betting and lottery outlets are everywhere, they are like 7-11 convenient stores here.
3. I have the time to place the bet – it take less than 5 minute to place a bet at the counter.
It has to do with my attitude and thinking
If I want to do control gambling, it is going to be a problem, it is going to be very difficult to control when I have all 3 of the above and a tempting opportunity.
If I do not gamble anymore, the presence of the above 3 mentioned and a tempting opportunity is not going to made any difference to me.
What is the point of keeping a recovery journal if I am not honest about my writing. Caught myself today. I still have reservation to gamble. I still consider gambling an option. It means I have not surrender 100%.
It shouldn’t be an option
it was not something to consider
I must not have any reservation
I should not even entertain that thought
Cheers!
Caught myself
I am the villain, many times I was not the victim which I choose to believe.
Today was generally a good day, I passed the trial. Hope this day will be a foundation for many days to come.