Ok guys it is with a lot of self hated and guilt as I am writing this. Very numb. Very desensitized. I relapsed today. I had the day off work and took 3k to play blackjack. I played for 2 hours and lost the 3k. I then called my bank and increase my limit to 6k. I took another 3k and lost that in 1 hour. I then drove back home 45 min away and went to the bank to withdrawal another 4k. Worst that 6k was off my line of credit. I climbed out and got my losses to 2500 on the day, you guess what happened next? I lost it all again. I lost 10 grand today. In roughly 6 hours. Putting me into debt. I don’t really know how to feel. Except for a big ******* loser. Sorry to vent, rant, I need help. Major help. My whole world is falling apart in one day just because of my addiction, all the work and months to make that, all gone in 5 hours. What a life. The life of a cg. I am so embarrassed
