Hi Bettie – thank you for your note on my journal. It is a small world – I am in Dayton, OH. Wow I can’t believe you were going to the casino that often – I didn’t do that but when I did go once or twice a month it would be like I didn’t want to quit. Hitting rock bottom this past week and withdrawing my bill money was just my awakening of what I was doing to myself. Unfortunately – my stress and nightmare right now is I don’t have the money for this month now to pay the rent, electric and cable – of which is my life line since it is not easy for me to get out. I don’t know where to begin to recover or what to do. I don’t have credit cards or anything like that – just my monthly living expenses and last month I was stupid and took out a few payday loans. Those will be my big problem to get paid off once I can get back on track with my regular bills which are now a month behind considering it is already October. The cable/internet I need too as they are my lifeline being alone. I sleep alot under normal conditions, kind of sleepless this past weekend though. The days I do feel good were the days I would go to the casino.
I’ve read a little of your journal and wow, I can’t believe how much of a problem this is for so many and how much strength everyone has to gather to get through this. I had no clue. I haven’t had a chance to read everything here but I look forward to reading all of it in the next week and I hope I have a chance to get to know more people as I go through this.
I am looking forward to meeting you in a chat also – I missed out on this evenings as I was just too mentally drained to look at the computer any longer.
Thank you again for your support and I hope I am able to be supportive for you and anyone else. God Bless!
Kim
