Good Monday Morning!
Should be working out but too tired, lazy, and depressed. I will have lots of coffee and get moving. I am done with the hormone therapy, compleat waste of time. Has not helped in any way shape or form. I am so full of fluid I don’t even know what I can wear to work untill the swelling goes down. I took measurements yesterday and i weigh almost the same as 2 years ago this time but I am 5 inches bigger around my waist and hips! No wonder my clothes don’t fit!
My brain is on pity party mode and I want to gamble. My ex gambling buddy called yesterday. She claims she called my cell to invite me to some big party Sauturday but it went to voice mail and she didn’t leave a message. Thats some BS as she said a few more things, she left a message, didn’t leave a message, just a lot of double talk. Bottom line, she didn’t include me but found it necessary to tell me about the good time she had. I didn’t question what she had to say, didn’t stand up for myself, for fear of chasing off my "friend". It’s a shame the female relationships in my life are not much different than the male ones. It’s me, something so wrong with me, that I attract such users and I just accept it because it’s better than being alone. Like I was all weekend.
I wish my "higher power" would fix that for me as I don’t know what to do about it, my defect, that attracts users and prevents me from finding true friends, male or female. You all are NOT included in this statement, but cyber friendships may be the start I need, social skill that I am missing somehow, that make me like I am.
just thinking out loud
peace
bettie
