Originally posted by bettie
… I really wanted to gamble-but …
… I need to get on with it.
Good morning Bettie,
I really wanted to gamble last week too. Or to "play" the lottery as my addictive mind was trying to convince me that I would be doing, because the lotto was not an addictive action in the past, and after all "buying" a chance of a guaranteed payoff of a fortune for someone was not a gamble, it was an investment. Talk about thinking irrational and being brainwashed — even a news commentator told the TV audience that it would be foolish not to buy a ticket. But thankfully like you my rational brain, and my renewed self overcame the temptation and urge. I am still gambling free, and free of "game" playing, not just the game of the lottery, but the game of going back and forth with gambling and not gambling; at least at the moment and for today — it is a freedom that is acquired ODAAT.
My rational thinking and my essential mental barriers helped me make a right choice, my sharing my secret with others helped bring the truth to light and showed me the whole picture, not just the dream of another addictive action. It was not just "no money = no gambling" that stopped me; I had money thanks to my not gambling, it was "no-giving-in equals no gambling" that stopped me. It was practicing my program of recovery and what I have learned and accepted that brought be past another crossroads.
The rest of your post is interesting also; what an oxymoron to be called "fatty" and "thin skinned" both. lol. But nevertheless, being fat (and I know, for I am) does percent a health problem, an increase in the cost of living, and even calls for a more expensive recliner, and can even influence our social lives; but it does not call for being made fun of, and more importantly and something that we can control, it does not have to be a reason for us to succumb to and be greatly affected by the immature acts and comments of others. We can still live and not have to hide, or have a need to apologise for or justify our being. We are still a person within our flesh, and a person that is part of a world consisting of fatties, skeletons, and every other descriptive forms of human life that people come up with and let feed their hate and immaturity.
Sure it would be good and beneficial to live at a lesson weight; for the right reasons. But to try and satisfy the narrow minded perceptions of others, should not be the guiding force — we will never meet the unreasonable and prejudiced aesthetic expectations of many in the world. Just do the best you can to take care of your health, your being, and the you that shines trough your "thin skin"; and let those that live outside the real world of all mankind wallow in the s**t that excretes form every thought and breath coming from their fat heads.
You are Bettie, your weight is not a problem that can destroy who you are in the same way that our addiction to compulsive gambling can destroy us, work at putting the childhood memories and taunts behind you, and the "adult" slurs in their place, and perhaps a reason to cause yourself even more harm through compulsive gambling will be put to rest also. You need to get on with it — get on with what you are doing now by not gambling, and then you will be able to live a gambling free life even when you have money, or when the fat heads of the world get to you more than they should. They are not going to change, but you can.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Be you.
Larry
Thanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.– 4/1/2012 4:00:17 PM: post edited by paul315.