Hi Guys,
Up early today-because I only wake up early and can’t fall back to sleep on my off days!
D*mn arms are uncomfortable today. I’ve had about 6 hours sleep and I guess that will be it.I must go buy a new recliner because that would help alot. It’s the only way I can sleep on my back.
Cats freaking out with a thunderstorm this morning. My scaredy cats! Oh well they are cute.
Went out with my GF last night. I really wanted to gamble-but my rational brain won out. I have payments set up to eat the cash out of my account so again, no money=no gamble. Barriers are essential at this point. I am not to be trusted alone.
I caught a look at myself in the mirror in the bathroom at the movie theater yesterday. I can’t believe how big I am again! I was refered to as a "fatty" this past week, which brings up horrable childhood memories, and now I can see why. I just can’t believe I am here again. So depressing. Someone at GA had talked about being "thin skinned". She mentioned how if you were refered to as a grape you would laugh it off, but if you were called a *itch you might be offended, if in fact, you felt like people could percieve you as a *itch. I am fat-there is no amount of self deception that can hide fact. I can keep moaning about it or I can do something about it. It’s so much easier to just moan about it. I remember wishing, when I was a bullied little girl, I wished I could hurry up and grow up because people didn’t call adults mean names. Funny how that never worked out.
In typical CG fashion I want to be fixed – yesterday! Patience is not a strong point.
I said I would cook for Easter so I need to call my sister and see what the plan is. I have a lot to do today. I need to get on with it.
bettie
