Dear Bettie! Wow! Such wise words from yourself and others that have posted on your thread since your slip. From what I can see, this slip has been a huge learning experience for you and for the rest of us. It takes some of us a lot of time to really get a particular concept even though it’s staring us in the face. We get it intellectually but it takes time for it to reach our heart and for us to really get the full understanding. Sounds like you have made a huge leap in recovery as a result of the slip. Pumkin asks the relevant question- What are you afraid of if you end this relationship? Your answer could be that you would be lonely, but you’re already lonely in that "relationship," plus it is jeopardizing your recovery and this individual hurts you over and over and deeply. So the benefit to you is minus zero. So really, you would be losing nothing. You have been able to arrest your gambling disease and quit smoking, so you will be able to let this jerk go when you get the full understanding that he brings nothing good to your life. And like we talked about, having him in your life, leaves no room for someone wonderful to come into your life. You are a beautiful woman, inside and out, and you need only those people in your life that recognize your intrinsic worth as a woman and a person. You mentioned that he is charming. So are sociopaths and psychopaths. Just saying…….. Carole
