Originally posted by bettie
… I found what I was looking for. I wanted to punish myself, and I did it very well.
Bettie, as you know one of the charistics of a compulsive gambler is found in the GA combo book, "there is a theory that compulsive gamblers subconsciously want to lose to punish themselves", another charismatic of a CG is "INABILITY AND UNWILLINGNESS TO ACCEPT REALITY. Hence the escape into the dream world of gambling".
You speak of your the justification you used to gamble, your "relationship" and the problems it causes, your not wanting to accept the reality that his problem is destroying you. You can’t do anything about his problem, but you can yours; work more at changing these character flaws in your own life, get the help that you need, let the devil take care of him handling his, that is unless he in time decides to turn his problems over to a more righteous power; and even if that were ever to happen, you do not need to continue in punishing yourself with the gambling that you use to escape the feelings of being unwanted or used by him. You do not need to be one of his FWB, a one sided friendship is not a friendship, nor is it worth nourishing.
Recovery will work in areas outside of gambling as well as with gambling, use the Steps to guide you in your problems with this "relationship", your binge drinking, in all of your life, you can not separate doing good at staying gambling free and doing good at living, gambling will more than likely win out if the field is divided.
God’s speed. Stay strong. It is not too late to have the rest of this year to be a Happy Gambling Free New Year.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.