Oh Carole,
Very sad about Amy – what a waste.
"FWB" Friends with benifits-there is a new movie out with that title too. Looks funny-wish my "fwb" looked like Justin Timberlake! lol! As Vera would say just a fancy name for a looser/user. It’s to the point that there is no benifit to me and my recovery and friendship? Now thats a joke. I’ve been reduced to "dirty little secret" and yet I still wish he had called today. What is wrong with this picture?
As for life getting better-well I wish that was the case however as my sponsor would say"welcome to your feelings"
because they run fast and thick and frankly hurt like h*ll at times, but it is not all bad.
There is a difference though Carole. I am facing, addressing, confronting and letting things go. Thats what recovery has given me. For that I am thankful. The Serenity Prayer is becoming a way of life.
Oprah said on her last show that all addicts had one thing in common. Our addiction stems from our feelings of unworthyness. Some where along the way something happened to us, physical, mental, abuse, that made us feel less than we were ment to be. Gambling itself is not the illiness-it’s how we, as compulsive addicts-escape our feeling or try to fill our brains with those feel good endorfins. No different than drugging, drinking, sexing or the million other ways people with these awful feeling try to escape.
Just call me Houdini-master of escape!
But really Carole even with all the crap the goes on it’s just life happening. My road is different than yours, but we have a common thread. When I am feeling down I try to remember the following:
The 12 GA Promises
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development we will be amazed before we are half way through.
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone we will see how our experience can benefit others.
The feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
Self-seeking will slip away.
Our whole attitude and outlook towards life will change.
Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
We will suddenly realize that G-D is doing for us that we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us – sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.
They will always materialise if we work for them.
peace
bettie– 7/24/2011 6:00:52 AM: post edited by bettie.