Hi Golden, Hi Laura,
I have not banned in Illinois yet and that is where I played. I will ban this week as I am not going to do this to myself again! It hurts too much. I know that I am banned at assocated casinos so while I broke no laws I did break my word, which is just killing me!
I would love to hear your story Golden! It helps when I read what others have gone through and how they have grown and/or struggled. It’s all part of the journey for me.
Laura thanks for the faith in my recovery. Lots of work to do here, odaat right? I slept good, valiem induced, but sound 8 plus hours. Long day ahead. I need to check into counciling today if time allows. Work has something that starts out free and I have no reason not to try something.
I think part of the relcutance to seek face to face help is denial. I’m not as bad as that, etc. I don’t feel that way but my CG mind does! It is almost like that person is Bettie-part 2. Today she is asleep in my head but I need to find a way to out smart her before she pops up again. She is smart and sneeky but bettie-part 1 suffers today for the choices bettie 2 made Saturday.
Scary isn’t it? I am now talking about myself in the 3rd person!
I have to find a way to make myself whole again. Big Job!
I did call my friend about going with me this week so I have a solid plan and thats a start.
peace
bettieIt’s one thing to know where you want to go-it’s another thing entirely to have the Wisdom to get there….Looking for the Wisdom
