Thank you so much everyone for your words of encouragement. I am in a pretty bad place at the moment. It was not just the relapse that lasted 2 full days and almost nights aswell, it was the amount i went through.. i am disgusted and heartbroken. What a waste, i had managed to save and i had tried so so hard to get that money. I feel sick. I feel scared this disease is going to kill me. I have to stop for good. Why does my stupid brain forget the pain. When i get time up and life is going great i deliberately ruin it or that is how it seems. My usual coping mechanisms just werent there, i usually call someone or have that will i or wont i. This time i didnt feel it, i cant remember thinking anything. I just walked in and started when i was passing somewhere and the usuall thing, back and forth and back and forth. What a nightmare. What an awful part of me. I dont know how to get through this one i feel so bad
Chubbycat
— 1/6/2013 8:45:15 PM: post edited by Chubbycat.
