Originally posted by chubbycat
… Not very happy with myself …
Dear Cc,
Not being very happy with yourself after gambling again I believe is a natural feeling that is benefiting from a positive characteristic trait that someone in recovery has acquired, just as we as CGs acquired the bad traits associated with our compulsive gambling; continue to enhance the new good traits and keep working at changing the bad ones — it is our progress that will keep adding clean time to our lives. In reading yours and another post about someone gambling again adds a little bit of a positive look at my recent gambling; adding quality time to all of your gambling free time, not just the past 5 months. I can say that I know what I am talking about, and hope that you can regain your momentum and get back in step the same as I and many others have had to do.
However, don’t wallow in that unhappiness, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep on keeping on — a mixed cliche, but both tell us and inspire us to do the right thing, and the last part of the first one, start all over again, does not fit; you are still in recovery and do not have to start over. You might have to change or strengthen the steps and tools that you are using, but once in recovery always in recovery; once we become aware and accept the fact that we are a CG and need to change, that eternal Higher Power now awaken within us keeps the desire to be free alive.
Keep posting, reading, and participating here and in your other support groups, keep working your program of recovery. We are not alone in our problem, or our struggles, and need to share our experiences and adventures of life with our fellow gamblers so as to help them as well. We may feel a need for a break from some of the ways that we work our recovery, but we should never take a break from making the journey itself, never let ourselves face and live the life of being in a true relapse. e.g. "Relapse – The addiction takes hold once more and the individual re-enters the pre-contemplative stage" where "The problem is not identified and there is no motivation for change" ~ definitions taken from the welcoming page of GT.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep taking action.
LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G's – God, GA, and GT, "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all I hope to continue to remain gambling free.
