Haven’t posted in a while, I have been busy with life. Still going strong and gamble free. I lost my dream job in September, which started my downward spiral (this time anyway). I have been working a temporary job since October which was a huge cut in pay, not to mention what it took to acclimate from being a big fish in my friend to an underling. Was grateful for the job but concerned about a long term plan. This week an opportunity to go back into my field (journalism) basically fell in my lap. I will be making only slightly less than what I made before and I get to do what I love. I’m nervous but determined to make it work. I start next Monday. I was discussing my addiction with Lee this weekend. He still doesn’t grasp how I could let casino’s take over my life but I hope he will someday. One of the things that I said to him was ghat when this journey started I did it for him. To show him how sorry I was and because I never wanted to have to hurt him by ***** again. But now after almost two months it’s not about him but about me and what I want for my life and for my future regardless of what it holds. I have been through **** and have worked too hard to give this up. That thought helps me when I get the urge (and believe me I still do). I’m glad I have barriers in place and intend to keep them there, but also I am more confident in myself and my desire to never go back to where I was. I haven’t actually counted the days in a while but I will soon as I know that two month mark approaches. I hope that everyone is doing well. Much love to this site, I’ll work on posting more because I want to remain vigilant in my focus an my recovery. I don’t want to get lax regarding how easy it would be to slip. Have a great week.
I will make this work!
