hey kridel, im pretty new here myself so dont got alot to offer but a yeah been there and done it myself. spent the holidays alone too. more cause im just bitter and just dont feel like being very social and why bother i guess. im a cranky cg and guess why shouldnt i be or anyone else here. when your feeling kicked, beatened and pummeled aint a whole lot to smile about. guess if it does any good feeling that way it would be to remember it the next time we try pulling in that drive way. funny thing is all those emontions end for me when that pay check is in hand. like all this misery and worry never happened and all the debt and bills dont even exsist. feels like i got a new life and im a different person who never gambled before. having that money just kinda gives me a high i cant explain and i just feel good about myself. how that leads me back to destruction i dont know. sure dont feel that way when im walking in that door, anything but. but sure dont take long for them feelings to be crushed again does it? plain insanity is what it is. and just amazing how soon we forget all it yet again.
