Haven’t had a dream like I had last night in a long time! Now that I have got your attention, unfortunately it was about gambling. It was so vivid and I woke up with urges to gamble. They were so strong that for the first hour of being conscious all I could think about was what I could wager on today. I watched ESPN, checked all the scores, looked at what games there were today. Even picked out the winners! It was just like old *****……………………..
While the urges have somewhat subsided, the work day is over and I really fancy a wager tonight. And, to make matters worse, today was payday! So, here I am writing and it’s helping, per usual. Do I really want my whole night consumed by watching the sports ticker? No, I don’t.
That’s it, I don’t want to, so I am not going to. I am stubborn and love a challenge but good grief the temptation of gambling is awful. This is a test, will I past……yes! However, I don’t like how quickly the gambling urges return. Glad to have barriers in place.
I have a plan, next week I will be able to pay more of my gambling debt off. So, if I gamble today, the plan will go up in smoke. The 15% I paid off last month, will mean nothing because I will no doubt lose it tonight.
UGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Odaat……..stay strong and best to all.
