Hi Bruce
You’re not a cry baby and you’re right, you’re not stupid. The person you are so desperately looking for to "stop you gambling" is you. We can support you and so can GA if you let them but no one has a magic wand for you. Being in recovery means that at ***** you will have to do things that make you uncomfortable or even frightened and that means having difficult conversations and opening up to people that you wouldn’t ordinarily open up to.
You called yourself a "failure" you’re not a failure Bruce because you haven’t given up on recovery even though it sounds as though you are finding it really tough. That shows me that you have courage and dedication and overcoming this addiction is important to you.
Harness the feelings you had when you first came here, that desire you had to overcome the addiction no matter what it took because motivation is not a one shot deal. Just because you felt motivated when you first started on your path to recovery it doesn’t mean that you will always feel so motivated and you may need to revisit your reasons for wanting to change several ***** to keep it all fresh in your mind and maintain your dedication.
I know you feel alone Bruce but we are all here for you in groups and on the forums, all ten thousand plus of us! We can’t be there to hold your hand or give you a hug but we can be here to offer you acceptance, advice, support and all without judging you one little bit. You are a funny and intelligent man and I know that people must warm to you as soon as they meet you so reach out offline as well as online and reconnect with friends as well as making new ones. You deserve to be happy and you are more than capable of making it happen.
Kind Regards
Janey
