Dated 5 Jan 2012
Today I wanted to experience those feelings I get when gambling. Of cos I wish to win money but I know I never win all the ***** but I really wanted to do something I love, even at the expense of borrowing and ending up on the losing end. I have never felt like a loser when I walk into a casino.
I doesnt made sense, why am I willing to do it and risk hitting another rock bottom
Today I did not do it, even though I wanted to experience that feeling one more time because I still remember the last painful experience, the ending was very inconvenient and uncomfortable. I don’t want the same thing to happen again.
Look like the pain and suffering it brought me was more than the fun, it was not a difficult decision today,I abandon the plan.
— 4/1/2012 8:21:26 AM: post edited by lostsoul24122011.
