I dont think you’re really dumb, you are a compulsive gambler like many of us here. That dosn’t excuse you or make what you’ve done acceptable, but that is the fact of the matter.
If you were really dumb you wouldnt be living in a million dolltar house.
You do not have to gamble, and with the right support you can learn to say no to it. You seem to think that people will immediatley presume if they find out about your problem and your situation that they will instantly loose faith in you. This is only your perception of how others will see the situation and not neccasarily the way it will be seen. You are not unique in your position, many people will be surprisingly supportive to see you admitting your problem and taking steps to fight it.
Gambling is ruining your life, not you. If you didnt gamble your life wouldn’t be ruined.
You can not stop gambling on your own, you seem to have accepted that I hope that you do seek support from GA and although you have your reservations about it, I think you should at least give it a try. Maybe go to a meeting away from where you live. As the name suggests Gamblers Anonymous is exactly that; anonymous. Nobody will know unless they are there or you tell them.
One thing I think must be apparent to you is if you dont get help quickly you will end up in a far worse predicament. Earning the income you do but living in debt is probably worse than living on minimum wage but not in debt, so losing your job although a very serious thing wouldn’t be the end of the world. Hopefully it will not come to this, but please swallow your pride and get to a meeting.
Geordie.I gambled last year, but havn’t this year. Imagine that!!….Recovery is priceless.
