Thanks Hope, Caron and Pumpkin for your posts. I really did not want to come back here as I have slipped again. I know that if I dont come back I will continue so I need to come back and face what I have done. I hate myself right now. I am scared that I am on that road again. I know more than anything that I need to get back on track and come to GT and face the challenges. I ask myself did I really enjoy myself and I can honestly say the answer is NO. I hate how I go and I can’t move from a machine… it’s as if I am mesmerised. In my head I keep saying I am leaving…. but I did not leave until my last dollar was gone…. so what does it prove… yet again, it proves I am a compulsive gambler. I am not a responsible gambler. I am trying to figure out why I wanted to go… I was doing so well and I don’t know what made me want to go… I am trying to analyze what happend.One day at a time my sweet lord…
