Thanks ican, I know how you feel there are ***** we just can’t seem to get things going right for us. I know that I had a tough time after my gambling spree in February. I was so depressed and wanted to go gambling, but also when I went gambling in February I did not enjoy it either by the end. You are just torn in two. Also, I do suffer from depression and some days it is tough to be positive and you just want to say to **** with it. Why struggle with this I will just gamble, but then the depression is even worse. Hang in there Ican and you will get there.
I did manage to get through March without gambling, but on March 2 I really had to fight not to go…. I am on day 40 today, however, I know from the past that this is not the main thing, as I have been to over 100 days… the main thing is not placing my next bet. I know what you mean about getting down in the dumps when you thinkg you can’t gamble again as it really does get to you. I really try hard not to think about not being able to gamble ever again. I struggle with it as well. I think most people do and that is why I really try hard to just think about the one day at a time. I am starting to understand more and more that the gamble free days are not the important thing.. it’s placing that next bet. Can I honestly say that I will never end up sitting at those slots again. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know that for today I will not gamble. I feel panicky if I think about not gambling in the future so I try to not think about that and refocus back to today. I think it’s called living in the NOW. However, I also know if I go gambling again I will not be happy about it. I found it so tough to get back on track in February that it scared me. How long will it keep me scared, that I don’t know but I hope it is for a long time. There I go again thinking ahead… and all I need to do is think about not gambling today.
Do I miss gambling? YES… I miss the fun and excitement of going to the Casino, escaping and running away from everything. But I don’t miss…. the person I become when I gamble.. hating myself, the lies, the guilt, the anger, losing money.
Sorry for rambling. Wishing everyone a day free of gambling… me too!!!!!One day at a time my sweet lord…
