[crushedsoul]

I just finished up a 13 hour binge of gambling on basketball games.  Tried to chip away at my debt- but i added another 1500 in losses.  I have  completely isolated myself as i am in a state of uncomparable depression.  I have not been able to just let my losses go because of this anger i have against myself.  The amount of self hate I have is unbearable. I don’t feel it will be possible to recover from this.  I still have horrible thoughts.  I also have thoughts of taking a stand against the bookie and "holding court" on the street.  That is the amount of anger i have built up—-I am a ticking time ****