Originally posted by Crushedsoul
… I am scared …
Good afternoon Crushedsoul, my name is Larry and I am a compulsive gambler, my last bet was October 2012. (My screen name is paul315, one I choose over three years ago when starting on my road to recovery, a road that led me out of my ****.)
Welcome to GT, here you will find that you are not alone, others here have shared in your pain, remorse, your losses, and your fear; we have all been scared and have all shared in your ****. Some like myself have also had thoughts of suicide, but thankfully we recognized these feelings as wrong. We then started addressing them and the reasons behind them; we started working on our recovery and a return to a more normal way of thinking and living.
You came here for help in your gambling problem. You might also need to get some professional help for your suicidal thoughts, and some financial help for better ways to pay of your debts. Debts to a bookie are more complicated that to ones to legitimate creditors, but they too have to be addressed in a better way than adding to the amount by more gambling. You have to pay him, but you may be able to negotiate a better plan while having him cut you off from future bets, one that you will stick to; he wants his money, not your hide, taking your hide come if you don’t pay, not if you no longer make bets.
The road to recovery requires us to reach out in many different directions, but the most important one is help for you mental state, do that now. As for the financial problems, you say that your would love to just quit but the amount that you own won’t let you; that is far from the truth. The truth of the matter is that your addictive controlled thinking is using the amount you owe as an excuse to continue gambling. The truth of the matter is that more gambling will not allow you to pay off what you owe; it will only add to the debt and give the addiction more power to cause you to chase more looses. The truth of the mater is that when a compulsive gambling stops gambling, the outlay of money is eliminated thereby increasing the income by removing the financial drain that was caused by gambling.
In the movie you subtlety reference, Groundhog Day; the main character did have to relive each gh day over and over. But he learned from his mistakes each time he was subjected to reliving the repeated groundhog days. Each repeated day started with the same things to dread; but in recognizing that he had to face the day anyway, he made changes for the better and stopped doing the wrong things that were making the life he had to live unmanageable. He eventually stopped waking up to a repeated gh day and you can do the same in real life, but it takes making changes in your life, your thinking and your attitude — without change there will be no change.
Keep coming back here and participating in the services GT offers, look for a live help group in your area such as Gamblers Anonymous, be honest with your best friend and use the help that she can provide — she may be sleeping but you are the one that need to wake up before her help is no longer available, do all you can and use all the help that is available to you so your can combat this addiction.
God’s speed, use your Higher Power to guide and strengthen you.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G's – God, GA, and GT, "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all I hope to continue to remain gambling free.