Hi BadApple. Was good to have a brief chat yesterday !
Gambling was always on my mind 24/7 too – analysing it now, I know exactly why; when we gamble for such a long period, we lose track of the person we were beforehand; debt, worry, misery, *****, obsession with odds, form, machines and obtaining the money to gamble becomes the norm, the everyday. We become so conditioned to it that we don’t know any other way.
There is no way you can gamble yourself out of trouble. Fix that amount in your mind that you need to help you, then add another nought at the end – would it make you stop? Would you sort everything out and pay off your debt? Absolutely no chance my friend – that euphoria you would have experienced in winning that money would be something you would want to repeat within hours, the comedown would be huge and not something you can handle, despite what you tell yourself.
If you truly want a fresh start, then it is zero tolerance; it’s all or nothing. you say you hate the feeling afterwards : you can change, it won’t always be that way, in a few months, you may feel totally different. It is all in the mind – if they outlawed all forms of gambling tomorrow, you would have no choice but to feel better. You will get urges but learn to work your way through them my friend – they soon pass; you may be haunted by these thoughts for some time but they gradually lessen and you will gain more strength to fight them along the way…..these are the beliefs that I am grasping onto too presently. Live not in the past but now.
We gamblers are not patient people, this is generally why we relapse. This is what you must learn if you want to get through this, you have to wait it out until you start feeling better – it isn’t easy but there have been many hundreds here who have come through it over the years, I’ve read the stories and it gives me hope
Be strong, be positive; I lost around £300,000 over the years – I have regrets about that money but more so I sincerely regret all the time I wasted doing it. Gambling is a self-destructive entity, focus your efforts on things that give you genuine fulfilment. You can get through this but it will take you time my friend – accept that and accept who you are. You can’t change what has happened but you can certainly change your future.
Uncontrolled