Originally posted by gracephnx
Today has been very hard. I had the thoughts, the urges, despite all reason, there they were. I got as far as planning how I could get to the bank, drive out of town etc…then Fate intervened and I was offered an appt I have been waiting for.
… I take no pleasure today in my abstinence …
, as it was not of my doing, but resulting only from a chance appointment. God help me tomorrow.
gracephnx
God morning Grace,
I do not think that anyone takes much pleasure in abstaining from something that has been part of them and a powerful control of their lives. There may be an sigh of releif or a mild afterglow when we force ourselves to not gamble, but it would be hard for the act itself to be a pleasurable experience when there is an enter turmoil taking place. Now recovery, that is a different matter, when we practice our recovery and live gambling free, feeling the pleasure becomes a natural occurrence, we do not have to replace any resentment. "Abstinence is more of an "I’m-holding-off-for-now" attitude, while recovery is more about thinking along the lines of, "I used to be addicted, but that was then and this is now".
Nevertheless, well done of staying gambling free during your time of turmoil and fighting off urges. And thank God for coincidental or chance interventions and that you were aware enough to not just blow off an opportunity for something that you desired. Many ***** the addiction does not allow us to even think about anything else, but you were able to use your resolve to abstain from gambling to think rationally. Now look at using the time that abstaining from gambling is providing to work on recovery and changes in character traits that the addiction feeds on.
You can find a discussion on the difference between abstaining and recovery at this site, one that the quote above was taken from: http://www.addictionsearch.com/forums/showthread.php?t=708. It is mainly talking about alcohol and **** addictions, but in our case gambling is our **** of choice and the same principles apply for our actions as well.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep aware.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.