Thnx Paul for ur reply and can fully see what u mean- life seems to pop more when ur not gambling. Just all the small things are really adding up and actually making me feel happy again.
And we actually have money and have paid da bills and i havent blown it all and had to make up lies and excuses about where all the money is and sit there all devo about it- with no choices cos i have no money. I remember i used to sit there thinkin that cos of this one choice of gambling ive now taken away any and all other choices that involve money- and thinkin why do i choose gambling over everything else?
Truth is i know exactly why- and just have to stop. Sure its all complex and involved and blah balh blah…but at the same time its dead simple too. Have some self discipline and stop going. Exercise some freakin self control.
So I’m still in boot camp. Still denying myself access to gambling. Still patroling my thoughts and stoping the gambling ones- and making them reveal their true self. Thoughts of winning are replaced with realities of losing. Still trying to shatter the gambling illusions- and it has been another day- so yay- another victory.
