Originally posted by Desdemona
… I didn’t have the emotional energy to post or read other people’s posts
Good morning all, both to the ones that know me and to any new members reading,
It is a few days pass my celebrating my second go-around of reaching the 9 Month milestone as observed by GA (there is too much painful truth in the fact that these milestones can be celebrated more than once — we are all one bet away from starting a new countdown). But for me as well as many others each day is a celebration, and the one personal event that is greater to me than all the other recognitions and one that can never change. i.e. the day almost four years ago when I decided against ending it all, a day that changed my life and started me on this journey of combating my addiction.
I am well and doing fine, at least as far as gambling goes, and as for the other aspects of my life I an doing as well as can be expected, and better in many cases, both physically and emotionally. Carole’s statement above represents the paradox of working with others on our recovery, at least it became the case for me at this time. We journal about our thoughts, achievements, and trials, and we read and hear the words of others that are a comfort and encouragement to us, both actions give us the strength and hope that we need. Yet at the same time all the drama, for lack of a better word, can become an emotional strain.
I worked during a good many years of my career helping others in my work as a union official, but their problems were not ones that I shared and any strain was due to fatigue and frustration, not in living mirrored events. There is a lot to be said about helping ourselves before dedicating and using our energies and the time we have on others in similar situations. When we first start our recovery, those that also use GA find it is easy to "two step" the program; that is to go from Step 1 to Step 12 — from "We admitted that we were powerless over gambling – that our lives had become unmanageable." to "Having made an effort to practice these principles in all our affairs, we tried to carry this message to other compulsive gamblers". But it is also easy to look past the first part of Step 12, Having made an effort to practice these principles in all our affairs . The key part of this Step is to first "practice these principles in all our affairs". This is the part that I am doing now, reworking the Steps in order, not just randomly.
Those that have been able to move past this "selfish" stage are to commended, and there are many here that are able to offer this service in a way that come across as them just being the wonderful persons that they are, or that working recovery has allowed them to be. I sincerely thank you all.
Well it was good to read some of the current post and to again journal my thoughts, thanks for listening, and thanks for the opportunity to once again post to my Daily Pledge to not gamble today. And Carole, hopefully we can meet again in real life as a few of us did in the past, and as others are doing with their visits with each other. Bettie, don’t try going over the falls in a barrow when you and Deb visit, no need for you to to hit the bottom of that barrow, or the falls for that matter.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep aware.
Larry
Thanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all I hope to continue to remain gambling free.
— 7/21/2013 8:54:01 PM: post edited by paul315.