Dear Larry! I did locate my handouts from the conference and Bettie said she’d get them to me. I will send you the handouts on relapse prevention. This conference has got me to thinking a lot about my recovery. I believe in positive posting and thinking and behaving yourself to success. But I have come to the realization that honesty is more important. And to be honest like I posted on icandothis’ thread, I am still on step one having not mastered the first part of the step, believing that I am powerless over gambling, even though the end result of every slip I have had is the same. I have taken on shame as a result of all the slips I have had over the past 15/16 months. I am going to accept where I am at in recovery and expect that because I am wounded, I will not be buried. Each and every one of us is a wounded person here. I consider myself a person in recovery even though I slip. I always come back to GT. I don’t want to be a cg. I am feeling very sad today, and am not sure why. Some may think that I am not in recovery because I slip and slide, but honestly, I don’t give a rat’s ass anymore what they think anymore. Long-timers like you and Ken didn’t get recovery right off the bat, and yet I expect that from myself, and feel bad that I haven’t been able to do so. I am not expecting warm and fuzzies when I slip because that to ME is enabling. I just don’t want people to judge me for my failures. I do enough of that myself. Having have met you and seeing as you have had a lot of life experiences, I feel that I can be very honest wth you. Carole
