Hello Layy!
Sorry to hear some unpleasant things are going on in your life right now. A CG sees two choices when a problem arises. Face up or run away . It seems you are facing up!
Wouldn’t it be great if there were no problems and if everything just ran smoothly in this life? Or would it? Maybe we would use boredom as an excuse to gamble, then. I hope your daughter’s father in law will receive suitable treatment for his illness and make a good recovery.
As for the dental work…all I can say is DON’T go there!!! I need serious "renovations" in that area…had the money saved and guess where it went…
As for the daughter! Another "bundle of joy/turned terrorist!" Teenagers specialise in targeting the parent who is more likely to pick up the flac and they are highly skilled at playing mum and dad off against each other. I often wonder if these skills are the only thing they learn in school. Girls, especially , have the back up of about 200 peers, whom they phone as soon as they part company and then between facebook/twitter/ bebo and every other "social" network,they use every moment to perferct their "persecution" skills and use them against their parents for their own benefit. You are in "Gangland" Larry so just BACK OFF! The unfortunate parents (us) on the other hand have a different set of lifeskills to fall back on. If your lessons were anything like mine, those "skills" were based on virtues! We were told to "be honest" Be loyal" "be kind/tolrent " etc etc. Sadly, these virtues are outmoded now and instead of" love your neighbour" the kids are learning to outdo/override/resent their neighbour/peers. They speak a different language these days Larry and live in a very different world. It was a shock to me when my kids hit the teenage years, to discover that their values are no longer mine. In the schools, in Ireland they brought in programmes at that time to bring the parents "in line" with their kids’ confused/errant ways. Most parents fell for this plot and within a few years, they and the kids were rolling along like headless chickens. I told my kids at the time that whatever they decided to do, that I ll be sticking to my guns…..did it work out…? Yes and no! For the main part it was a disaster for many years especially for my youngest son who decided to follow his own counsel at 16. Combined with alcohol/drugs/ refusal to attend school and eventually his leaving home, I had a fair share of grief and blame of course everything that wwnt wrong in his life was my fault. Not his father’s! Mine! I thank God that he had someone to blame and direct his anger towards,otherwise he would have turned that anger on to himself….
Incidently we, his parents are not split up. neither of us had left home. He was the one who did that…so don’t allow her to lay the separation on your doprstep to excuse her behaviour!
In brief, Larry, you won’t win over your teenager. My advice is to sit back and observe. Tell her you will always be there for her and stick to your own principles because if you start to water them down her security will be shattered even more than it already is.
Try to see the wider picture,Larry.Given time, everything changes and very few of these changes are within our control.
God bless!
