Tis the season! It is also an opportunity for me to be a little more personal and post more about my enjoyments rather than just things about the ways and means of recovery.
However, even though the holiday season is upon us and while all is well with me, it is the time that others that are still combating compulsive gambling realize a little more first hand just how much trouble gambling has been causing them in their life and the lives of those around them; one recent post by a new member reminded me of this part of the gambling addiction, e.g. " I spent my last $’s at the casino. It was meant for Christmas presents for my daughter and wife …". I have more thoughts about this, but will post them later; for now my post today will be about recovery allowing me to enjoy participating in celebrations with my family.
A few nights ago it was my granddaughter’s Christmas play and one again I was able to attend without having to rush of to gamble on the way home, or to make excuses and even not go. The play was not the enjoyment, in fact it in a way showed that life without gambling still had disappointments — the church members, or at least the ones that are willing to participate, mostly lack of talent, and yet I am sure that their families enjoyed their parts as much as I enjoyed Katie’s. The enjoyment was in seeing my granddaughter face when she looked out and saw me there, and being with my son and daughter for an evening out. Not all enjoyments or disappointments are breathtaking or earth shattering, but as an active CG, any degree of any emotion can give reason to gamble and result in missing out or escaping that part of lives many adventures; on the other hand my sobriety is a present that goes on and on.
This year is also special because my granddaughter’s desire to help me plan for a gift that her mother wanted. I normally don’t pay attention to any "list" at all, and buy something that I find to fit in with and be of interest to the ones I give to; in fact I have intentionally not got anything on a list, feeling that I am giving a "gift" not a helping hand – my personal thoughts on my giving, not on other’s ways. This system has worked for me all through the years and I have yet to get something that they were not thrilled with, or had to return. So this year, part of my gift to my granddaughter was to let her plan the gift for her mom. I took the present to her that night so that my daughter would have it early on Christmas morning, it is something that will be helpful in her fixing brunch for all the family, and my granddaughter’s giggles and happiness the whole evening about our surprise was a gift to me.
Another special feeling about Christmas was that I was also to get my daughter in France something that she was completely surprised with and just as happy to happy to receive; she was home when it arrived and rushed to open it without waiting for Christmas like I had hoped, but at 15 I guess that Santa no longer exist anyway. As I mentioned in an early post here, she is not happy with Christmas this year, but I hope that my gift will make it a little more enjoyable. I saw on her Facebook page a lot of interest in photography, with a lot of her photos being displayed as well, not only the silly themed ones, but some of her good work. Last year she got a good camera, this year I surprised her with a lens that she would not have bought on her own. It can’t soften her having a Christmas without family, but hopefully the surprised gift will let her know that I put in an effort to find something for "her", and not just send a package because it is Christmas.
So all in all it has been a good beginning to a season of joy.
God’s speed, and Happy Holidays. And an early Merry Christmas to those that believe.
Larry
Thanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.– 12/20/2011 4:28:06 AM: post edited by paul315.