Good Morning Larry! From getting to know people on GT, I have come to realize that the ones that have had the most success in recovery, are those that have sought other support besides GT, such as GA, and you mention God. I have a difficult time asking for support, but the total blowout I had on July 19th, with gambling for over 12 hours, took me back to how I felt prior to coming into recovery. The occasional slip here and there didn’t bother me and I’d always tell myself progress not recovery. The gambling blowout really scared me and I realized that my way was not working, and that I would need to reach out outside myself and get the help I waited too long to seek out. I have found qualifed addiction counsellors through Mental Health 3 hours away from where I live, which gives me the privacy to share what I need to share. The GA group closest to me is 3 hours away also, which sucks for winter night time driving, but I’ll cross that bridge when it becomes winter here. You often talk about self-banning in your head and I am having difficulty really grasping that concept. I would appreciate you explaining that to me in detail. I have self-excluded myself from all the casinos in my province but it does not cover the VLTs in every lounge/bar in town, and I have a long history of gambling in these venues as when I started gambling, we did not have a casino in our town. I am very serious about recovery and have worked hard at quitting and also dealing with the painful issues that have come up for me, as well as the day to day stuff. It’s not that I don’t believe there is a God. I have depended on myself since I was seven years old to cope with issues a child shouldn’t have to cope with. I would like to have that personal relationship but I just don’t know how to do that. I’d be interested in suggestions on how to do that. My way is NOT working. Carole
