May 13, 2009 – 9 Months Gambling Free
Hello, my name is Larry and I am a Compulsive Gambler, my last bet was on August 13, 2009.
The first time I said those words was at my first GA meeting, now 270 Days (ODAAT) after my last bet I can still say the same words at each GA meeting and when I welcome and introduce myself to new members here at GT. It is a great feeling; a feeling the combines pride in my accomplishment and gratitude to my Fellow Gamblers — those who provided support and encouragement; plus a thanks to my Greater Power, a combination of my 3Gs, God, GA, and GT. In addition, I wish to singularly thank my "highest" power, my God, who gave the wake-up call for me to get my life together and seek out His will; who made me realize that I had had "Enough".
A couple days ago in the Daily Pledge thread I referred to being able to take a trip as "a result of being gambling free". Well, the short excursion was enjoyable, and of course thankfully was a gambling free one. However, even over this short period I had to use rational thinking to overcome little temptations and combat false justifications that my mind was fabricating to allow me to gamble. There were lottery ticket sales everywhere and just so happens that in my bag I still had a unclaimed winning ticked that was an office Christmas present, one for a "free" ticket. My argument was that my exchanging it for another one, one with a chance for the "big" win — a CG’s elusive dream, would not be gambling. My realization was that it would be gambling and go against my pledge not to gamble even a token or equivalent.
To make a sorely needed contradiction to and play on the popular phrase "What Happens In Vegas Stays In Vegas", what we do while away, be it Vegas or any other place, does not stay there; the wrongs that we allow ourselves to do because we are away from a protective environment follows us back and haunts us. To be gambling free we must keep Recovery with us, not leave it at home to come back to.
I also realized that my being able to take this ordinary type day-trip, was not only because being gambling free allowed me to have a little extra funds; being gambling free allowed me to have and take the time to go — to not be tied down to the casino unable to leave. Being gambling free allowed me to follow through on my thoughts (sort of a dream) of taking a train ride every time I passed the Amtrak station. Even though I do not consider this trip a dream, not even a Disney-type one, it was however part of an elusive CG one "back when"; when I was caught up in gambling and passed the station I would "dream" about winning big and traveling across country on the train, visiting all the casinos and winning even more. Being gambling free has freed my mind of the elusive dreams; now I can return to the Disney-type ordinary ones, and even experience them now and then.
To all my Fellow Gamblers, God’s speed, stay strong, keep aware; keep your real dreams alive.Larry"Day Two Is Another Day Behind" – With the help of a Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, I will continue to be gambling free.
