Originally posted by slotjunkie
It has been a long time since i been here on site. I have a new date of 1/5/13. Have not gone to casino but have played slots on phone and computer. Not for money but did buy a slot machine to play on phone. Did it to escape my troubles and the worries.
… Beginning to think i was meant to always gamble …
Good morning SJ,
First well done on your gambling free time, all of the quality time that has helped and strengthen you to continue with your journey; recovery is not a destination, it is a journey, a journey that is measured by progress.
As for gambling without money is concerned, for me it is up to each of us a CGs to make this type of decision for ourselves. I know that the International GA program states that "Gambling for the compulsive gambler is defined as follows: Any betting or wagering, for self or others, whether for money or not, no matter how slight or insignificant, where the outcome is uncertain or depends upon chance or ‘skill’ constitutes gambling". But personally, I lean more towards the UK GA policies that do not define gambling in any way. I believe that we do not necessary need a definition, and feel that the GA definition might even be a little harmful in that it may give the impression of justifying gambling by CGs not ready to except the facts about the addiction, Because of the general definition being argumentive as to what is "uncertain" a "chance", or what is "skill", (something akin to a notorious legal political statement a few years back dealing with certain immoral actions of our president e.g. "depends on what the definition of "is" is. When we are in action and under the control of this addiction, any gambling in spite of any definition is not seen as compulsive gambling, or even just gambling most of the time. I do agree the the part "no matter how slight or insignificant" is highly signficant in any actions we take to feed our addiction of compulsive gambling.
Your free slot play falls in this category and one where you have to make the determination of it being gambling or not. And alos begs an answer the more important question, "will your ‘free’ play keep your mind open to the embedded characteristic properties of gambling and cause you to venture back out into the world of compulsive gambling for money?"; thinking that any wins there also relate to your chance at winning money, or will any series of losses cause you to think that your luck is due to change so why not use it to win money. Recovery is not easy and takes a lot of sole searching and choices.
Now I will take the opportunity to spout off on some layman’s thoughts concerning the psychological views on us being the person that we are meant to be, on your statement, "Beginning to think i was meant to always gamble".
What we are meant to be at ***** causes a conflict between our "desired state of being" and our "actual state of being" at any given time. The degree of discrepancies between the two, and the level of "spiritual" qualities represented, is what defines any problems we have to face when choosing what path we should follow. When the differences are great we live in a struggle between the two; having to listen to both the devil and the angle on either shoulder so to speak. When there is little difference there is less chaos and less need to escape the challenges, it is just part of the diversified adventures of life. Some***** the actual state is the one where we should choose to remain when the desired state holds disruptions in a "normal" way of living, or goes against the laws of the land, nature, or the environment and social atmosphere we live. And if the desired state holds the greatest virtues and characteristics, it is the one that should be pursued.
Compulsive gambling is neither a desired or actual state of being or to live in, it is a third unnatural state of being; the state of addiction is one that we have no rational reason to accept or keep. We need to combat and put it behind us so that we can again choose between the natural states of desire and actual; nurturing the one that is best at advancing the real person that is good and processes the spiritual characteristics of the human mind that represent the highest and finest qualities such as kindness, generosity, honesty and humility.
Thanks for the use of your topic and statement. Spouting off my thought to others is helpful to me, and perhaps can be helpful to others, even if confusing it can make them think.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep aware. And be careful in choosing between any desired state of being and the actual one.
LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G's – God, GA, and GT, "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all I hope to continue to remain gambling free.