Hi All,
Well ive had a really good weekend, my sister left this morning, im not sure when ill see her again, but we did make the most of it. I spent this morning (after chat) cleaning my poor house. It survived and i got all the kids helping which was great.
Last night i went to my high school dinner/drinks. My girlfriend met me there and we went in to find….no one! So we had a wine (i only had the 1, for courage) and we had dinner on our own. Turns out the dinner was cancelled. Anyway there were about 40 people who turned up for the drinks part which was great and a few i hadnt seen at our last reunion 2 years ago. My first boyfriend wasnt there, i found out that he had joined a bikie gang, divorced his wife and had gone into hiding because a rival gang was after him! I was blown away. They have 4 children so its a pretty sad story. It was much more detailed that that, like something you see on the movies. Anyway, i had a great time catching up. There was 1 thing though. Once when i had decided for the 400th time i was stopping gambling i had called a counselling place. I spoke to a girl who, turns out i went to school with. I told her about my gambling but i never pursued the counselling, i think i went to 3 sessions. Anyway, she was there last night and i felt like she was looking at me the whole time and it made me quite uncomfortable. Now, you all know im not ashamed of my addiction , i have in fact embraced it for what it is and what it has made me, good and bad. But, it was wierd and i found myself moving away from her every time she came near me. She is a lovely person and i didnt really think about it until this morning, so in fact i feel pretty bad. I guess in the terms of ‘high school’ i didnt want them to know i wasnt that perfect girl i was when i was 17. (well, i thought i was pretty good…lol)
I know she would not have said anything, its confidential, but it has played on my mind this morning. Anyway, apart from that it was a great night. Ive actually had a wonderful week, so hopefully this feeling will carry on.
Take care, bye for now, Kathryn xxxSometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you wanted to be, the person you are.
