I havent posted for a while,
I havent had a lot to say really, and it seems that without gambling in my life i feel that posting here could be seen as a load of B.S. Lets face it, its been a while, what could i possibly say that would mean anything to someone who has found this site in their hour of pure desperation? I was told once that i was intimidating, in terms of being clean, for a new member. I was shocked and extremely upset and i think that has prevented me posting as much as i maybe would have.
I guess at the end of the day i know what works for me, and i feel passionate about sharing that. I would like others to feel, for just one day, the ‘normality’ i feel in my life now. Call it boring, but its living and its something i didnt do for 15 years.
I come to this site every single day, without fail, and read what is happening in others lives. I am reminded daily of where i never want to be again, i am overjoyed by others triumphs when i read how they have overcome an urge that day and are so proud of themselves, as they well should be, and i always read something that sticks in my head, that reminds me of just how far i have come and if that is intimidating well, thats just too bloody bad!
I used to write ever thought that came into my head, i was so afraid that any little change in my day, any arguement, any stress would send me back to gambling. I dont post now because i know i can deal with these things on my own. It doesnt mean i still dont ask for help, i do, but not near as much.
Wherever you are in your journey, this site will guide you, support you and help you. Sometimes our greatest fear is ourselves and our inability to be open to the possiblilities.
Take care,
Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan
