Well, tonight the truth finally came out. There was an unpaid bill, only small, one that i overlooked. A letter came about it. Damian rang me at work and left me an extremely mean message, and i barely listened to it. I got home that night and paid the bill. So today, im at work, and was checking my messages, and i listened to that message. At the end of it he said ‘and i know where the money is going’. I called him and asked him point blank, do you think im gambling? His answer…yes. I was devastated. I came home from work and made him sit down and talk to me. I gave him all my cards, said that while i was happy to pay the bills, i will no longer be responsible for the money in the account. The fight began, i told him how gutted i was that he thought i was still gambling, he said that we should have more money than we do (imagine that in a very harsh tone) he said that we should be sitting pretty, i said that i could get all the bank statements to show him, that i was more than happy to as long as he would actually look at them. I said i couldnt live this way anymore, with this constant feeling that he thinks im gambling when im not, he said that we will never have anything as long as he was with me….hmmm, just imagine my reply!!!
Anyway, he stormed out stating that he would do a much better job than me, meanwhile i sat on the bed and bawled. I then came out and said, you know, i think you will do a better job than me cause im tired of thinking about it, worrying about it and for once, we agreed!!! So now, we are going to find out about financial help, as in budgeting. I am also going to pay every single bill we have this weekend, so next week we start from scratch. Im so relieved that i dont need to think about it anymore, ive been dealing with the finances for far too long, its time for him to have a turn and see exactly how this house runs. I didnt really need the stress today, but i guess the outcome is good, and for once we did communicate, be it a yelling communication. Anyway, there is my little rant, im tired and need to go to bed i think.
Take care all, Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan
