R2C, I went back and read your post from your last gambling experience (copied it below). It was heartbreaking that you were that low. As cg, I think we have all had suicide cross our minds…I know I have. I’m impressed that you are taking the steps to turn your life around because you are truly a good person. 50 days later you’re still here and I’m happy that you are!
"Really messed up since wed lost 1500 sum of it not mine trying to win back mine im in trouble tomorrow i ***** from my ma and da i ransacked their house found roughly 700 lost it yesterday thought last nite was my last nite on this planet as tonight i intended ending my life and the farce that it has become. I will not say how i was planning to do it but i checked on the internet this morning for tips on the easiet way to go and i found a site that ended up telling me icould end up brain damaged threw my attempt or things like that then it explained that the people that cared me that their life sentence would only begin and that people who dont care about me wouldnt remember me in a month and would maybe get a sick kick out of my death reading all that made me change my mind i didnt sleep last night i didnt want to. I rung a friend this morning and asked could i get alend of money he said how muchsaid 500 he said hed ring me back in 30 mins he rung me back in 35 mins and said he would meet me in 2 hours and he had got me the money. He is a recovering addict so he understood fair play to him that internet article and my friend have hopfully saved my life. I will be able to give my mum most of her money tomorrow when she returns from donegal she will be heart broken i stay at their house when theyr away on holidays but il be barred from now on. I am in such a sad place my heart is broke and i feel dead in ways but im glad i am going to fite on i just wish my mother didnt need to know but i havent got her property back in exactly the way she left it she will be heart broking Again im a rat. I would never ***** 10p of anyone but this ******* addiction gives me a split personality any wonder im a gemini. At least im still alive and i have to face the music dont do the crime if you cant do the time. Feeling bit better than last night. Gambling is a dangerous loathsome fecker. I will give my recovery everyting adaat i will get my blocks rock solid i cant live like this any longer. Tomorrow will be heart breaking seeing my mothers pain. Homeless in dublin are in my thoughts tonight God help them its a cold night i need to get this sorted once and for all hope this is rock bottom and i never feel like this again. God grant me the serenity "
