Thanks Vera day 38 getting into a few bad habits atm watched the irish grand national today and glad a complete outsider won iv been watching dog and horse racing a fair bit this last week in the house no longer have a debit card so cant gamble whilst im watching it but i could be in a bookies in 2 or 3 minutes if i run out the door. so hopfully by writing this down i will nip it in the bud which really would be progress. many many ***** oves the years friends and family have said to me if your going to gamble ring me we talk about this after the damage has been done and i always say i will i will but i never do once i get that compulsion im away and then i have to pick up the pieces later. so just for today im going to stop watching horse racing i cant handle it im a cg. when i was at school i couldnt really study couldnt really concentrate so i would always say id start my studying the next night and that happened night after night and in a way its still happening i keep putting my recovery off 13 years ago i entered my first G.A meeting i cant promise nothing i would be a fool to try with this awful disease but adaat im going to try to abstain and maintain for me because we never know when we might get another chance i dont play games with other people so why do i play games with myself. I read mavericks post there and it scared me i could of wrote that i hope he gets the strength to try again when hes ready . I wish there was a cure for this dis ease but unforunately theirs not so i have to depend on me to do this **** thats scary but i will give it a go adaat
