Hi Neva
You have made a lot of contributions in your time here my friend, you know what to do and how to do it – you must focus on these urges; when they occur, you cannot give in – nothing physical makes you gamble, only mental and this can be worked through. If you have had a bad day, no problem – tomorrow will be brighter. If you feel terrible urges or a desperation to recover what you have lost, accept that by trying to get them back will only lead you to losing more. As you say, its insane behaviour, we all know it
You must keep learning, keep building on what you have achieved so far. Think everything through before you even remotely contemplate starting again – all the pain, stress, misery – the minute you press that button for the first time, you are pressing it to release all of those feelings. Remember that, tell yourself that continuously my friend, over and over until you can’t think of anything else.
My Mum can be a right pain in the B***, but still love her to bits. She is 75 now and complains about everything I do. I just filter out the moaning now and just agree with everything she says. Its not worth arguing. Yep, shes the best driver in the world, I’m the worst, why did I buy this or that etc etc etc …..she is like a battery that never loses its charge . Just accept you Mom for who she is. She doesnt realise she isnt helping you, she means no bad intentions.
Take care Neva and just for today lets not gamble x