Yesterday I took mom to the house and then out to lunch. She complained a lot. Is that something older people do? Her constant complaints weren’t about anything big but they were stressful. The soup is too spicy. The fog is too thick, how are we going to see? You didn’t park close enough to the curb. On and on. I took her home after lunch and then met my husband with lunch to go. We went up to our property so he could load a big bale of hay to feed after work. I also worked on our income taxes. That isn’t fun but I’m happy for turbo tax where we just fill in the blanks.
Vera, your words gave me chills.
"But "WE" know better ! We have been given the tools and the chances that others never had so "to him that much has been given, much will be expected" (Those words are haunting me all day)"
We do know better. We know from repeating the same insane behavior over and over yet we still choose to gamble again. Hopefully, it is less and less until we can finally break free. Recovery might be a lost cause for the Neva’s and the Vera’s but it’s not too late for any of us. We have the tools and the desire and the goals for a gamble free life. Don’t lose sight of your goals…getting your life and soul back.
Cat, I’m the same way too about going stretches without thinking of gambling. I think the longer I go without gambling the less I think about it but then the crazy thinking pops up and I forget about why I wanted so desperately to stop the madness, how I couldn’t walk out until there was no money left, and how low and dispicable I felt afterwards. There was a time where I felt I could never stop gambling as long as my mom was alive. I tried many years ago to stop but mom would always minimize my problem, suggest we go gambling and loan me money to gamble. Kind of like waving a bottle of alcohol under an alcohlic’s nose. So, I just avoid mom as much as possible. I feel guilty because she is getting up in years but I really think she tries to entice me into wanting to go to the casino. She either doesn’t get it or she wants me to suffer along with her.
Today is all we have to get through. I have my day planned out and it won’t include the casino.
