Thanks Cat for the reminder to remove my e-mail address. I feel everyone on here is a friend but I wouldn’t to risk my anonymity either.
My husband and I were standing in our new house, looking over our property and feeling so incredibly blessed. Only another cg will understand this…but I am just as grateful for the miracle of another gamble free weekend. Of course having my debt in order and being able to build a new house is the direct result of all the years of working towards recovery. As Monday morning went on, I kept thinking about how my life used to be and Mondays were the ‘day of reckoning’ after gambling all weekend. It was almost a relief to get back to work so I would have to stop gambling. Today I felt some guilt…did I gamble this weekend? I didn’t but there is something nagging at me. Maybe it’s just the thought I could be sucked back in so easily. Money is going out really fast. I know it’s all for important things but I’m feeling like I did when I gambled…I don’t have any control and the money is flying out. I told our painter that I would pay him cash…as a friend instead of business deal. I owe him $900…after I paid him $300 already. I’ve been hanging on to $450 for a couple of weeks. Barriers are very important and I know having cash in my possession isn’t smart. I hope he can start painting before next weekend so the cash isn’t in my hands. Don’t you think $1,200 is a lot to paint the inside of an empty house? I bought all the paint and primer but he’s using his equipment. He’s a professional painter and I know ***** do a good job…besides his wife is a sweetheart and I’m happy to help them out…I just feel it’s a lot of money. My savings account will be zero soon. That savings was my security and I hate to let it go.
Even when things are good there is always something to worry about.
